In Part 1, we explored the wisdom found in James 1:19–20—being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. We also discussed communication expert Jefferson Fisher and his advice: “Take a pause before responding. Let your first word be your breath.” Now, let’s get into the real-world application of what we’ve called the “pause principle.”
Why the Pause Matters
Pausing before you respond is more than just a neat communication trick; it’s a way to ensure the rational part of your brain stays in control. When you take that moment (or those three moments) to breathe, you’re effectively saying, “My goal is to understand first, then respond with empathy and wisdom.”
Applying the Pause at Work
- Team Meetings: Let others finish speaking before jumping in with a rebuttal or a new idea. You might discover additional points or perspectives that change your approach.
- Email or Messaging: Step away from the keyboard for a minute if you receive a message that triggers frustration. Use that time to breathe, gather your thoughts, and consider how to respond calmly. Written communications have no tone of voice or facial expressions, so clarity and kindness are crucial. This is also why I love the email function on Apple, which allows you a few seconds to undo sending a message. It lets you correct that moment if you hit “send” in anger.
Applying the Pause at Home
- Conversations with Loved Ones: Whether it’s your spouse, children, or close friends, tensions can run high when disagreements surface. Take a breath before you speak, ensuring your words come from a place of understanding rather than annoyance.
- Everyday Stressors: Household responsibilities can quickly pile up and create friction. Instead of letting frustration spill over into snappy remarks, pause to gain perspective. Ask yourself: “Is this something I can address calmly, or do I need a moment to refocus?”
Applying the Pause in Public
- Customer Service Interactions: Long lines or mix-ups can test your patience. Pausing helps you treat service workers respectfully, remembering they are people doing their best.
- Traffic Situations: We’ve all felt road rage creeping in. A quick pause reminds you it’s better to arrive a minute later than to let anger ruin your day or endanger others.
The Ripple Effect
Choosing to pause has a way of diffusing tension. It shows respect for the other person and sets a tone of openness. People around you will notice the difference, and you might find you’re modeling healthy communication for others—at work, in your home, and even among strangers.
Reflecting God’s Righteousness
Remember, human anger rarely produces the righteousness God desires (James 1:20). Pausing paves the way for patience, gentleness, and understanding—the very qualities that reflect God’s love. It’s not about suppressing valid emotions but rather channeling them in a constructive way.
Looking to Strengthen Your Leadership Skills?
Pausing doesn’t just improve communication; it builds the kind of character that fosters trust and respect. If you want to develop a solid leadership foundation rooted in strong character and effective communication, check out Proven Results Mentors. They’ll help you create a framework for leadership that honors God and influences others positively.
The Challenge
- Pause Practice: This week, pick one scenario you anticipate might be stressful—a meeting, a tricky conversation, or an everyday stress point. Commit to pausing, breathing, and choosing your words deliberately.
- Note the Changes: Pay attention to how this affects both your emotions and the responses of those around you. You might be surprised at how quickly a single pause can shift an entire conversation.
If this message encouraged you, share it with a friend or coworker who could benefit from a new approach to communication. The ripple effect starts with each of us making the choice to pause, listen well, and speak wisely.
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Check out The Abide Factor and The Abide Factor Student Workbook for practical tools to help you grow in your walk with God. These resources are designed to guide you toward the abundant life Jesus promises.
If you’re looking for someone to help you grow in your faith journey, consider a monthly mentorship through ProvenResults Mentors. Sign up for a free 30-minute Discovery Call here. Let’s walk this path together!