Why Rest Shouldn’t Always Be Relaxing

Many of us often feel deprived of adequate rest in our fast-paced and hectic world. What if I told you the greatest issue was not how often we rest, but rather the quality of the rest we’re experiencing – or even the way we think about rest itself?

In “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry,” former pastor and current best-selling author John Mark Comer argues that the most fulfilling and life-giving activities are the ones that require an upfront investment of energy. Although we may gravitate toward passive hobbies like watching TV or scrolling through social media, it’s pursuits like journaling, prayer, reading, and spending time with loved ones that fill our cups and leave us feeling better after engaging with them.

In a way, prioritizing these ventures is an act of trust. Psychologically speaking, our brains are always motivated to consume calories, largely as a survival mechanism. Our unconscious minds never know when a threat or problem could be lurking around the corner, and as a result, we have an involuntary desire to maintain the comfortable state of sticking with the status quo. While we might know that we’ll feel rejuvenated after doing something that feels more challenging, this ongoing desire to conserve energy and preserve comfort holds us back from doing what matters.

We have to push back on this narrative. It’s too easy to disengage and isolate when we feel like we’re reaching our capacity. We do this for many reasons – perhaps most notably because it helps us avoid vulnerability. However, living the way of Jesus requires a different approach.

In Proverbs 11:25, we’re reminded that the one who refreshes others will themselves be refreshed. This comes right after a statement about how the generous will prosper, which is especially important in this context. The desire to isolate is self-serving: we believe we will feel better if we seclude ourselves and avoid the pressure of responding to others’ needs. However, we often find that we can gain what we’re looking to receive from being alone when we are willing to pour into others. As Jesus Himself once said according to Acts 20:35, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive.”

It’s important to exercise wisdom here. Although we find it easier to understand concepts that are black and white (such as “never cross the street without looking both ways” or “always wear a seatbelt while driving”), many things in life are grey. Just recently, I wrote a blog post about the importance of solitude. Now, I’m telling you that you should push yourself to be around others even when you feel like you have nothing left to give. If you’re only looking for black-and-white solutions or advice, you’re probably sensing some inconsistency – and maybe even feeling some frustration with me.

The key here is balance, which begins with knowing yourself and continues by maintaining a slight sense of discomfort. If you ever feel too set in your ways, the desire to grow diminishes, and progress slows as a result. If you feel a slight (but not overwhelming) burden to think critically about the time you spend alone versus the time you spend with others, it probably means you’re invested in doing both well, and I would take that as a sign that you’re on the right track.

-David Grimm